


I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry

by y0w0suke



Series: Vent Fics [2]
Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: (Obviously), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, FUC, Heavy Angst, I Just Vent Though Yosuke, M/M, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-03 18:28:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19469659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/y0w0suke/pseuds/y0w0suke
Summary: "....." Yosuke says nothing as he gets up from the bed, grabbing his phone and one of his Kunai's, and walks into his bathroom. He locks the door as he slides down the wall, hiccuping small sobs as he stares as his phone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> !!Take The Tags Seriously!! This Was A Huge Vent Fic To Make Me NOT Do This Stuff!! Be Warned!!
> 
> So uh  
> This is  
> Super self indulgent  
> And Yosuke might be ooc in this  
> Uh  
> Yea

Yosuke stares blankly at a wall, his eyes blank and dull as he grips the sheets. The rest of the group where either hanging out with other people, or to busy to even text back. The brunette sighs softly, burying his face into the pillow.

  
  
**"You do know they hate you right?"**

  
  
Yosuke sighs, covering his ears. "Leave me alone.." he mumbles to his shadow. The shadow just smirks, crossing his legs and leaning back on the wall. **"If they cared, they would have wondered why their "dear friend" has been insisting for _days_ now for all of them to hang out."**

  
  
The shadow scoffs, rolling his eyes. **"Or..maybe it's you being a selfish bitch, like you always are."** Yosuke whimpers as the shadow walks closer to him. **"You're just trying to get away from these feelings...from _me._ "** The other version gets close to Yosuke's face, smirking at the fear in his eyes.

  
  
**"You want to run away from the fact that you have been thinking of doing horrible things to yourself again!"** The brunette stays quite, looking away as tears roll down his face. **"Run away from the fact that, every time you see a bridge, or a car passing by, you think "what will happen if I jump from that bridge, or if I jump in front of that car", have you not?"**

  
  
"T..that's not-"

  
The shadow laughs, its bright yellow eyes burning into Yosuke's mind. **"Come on..don't you want to relieve the pain? The pain of being a useless member of society? _A pain of being such a horrible_ _partner?_ "**

  
  
"....." Yosuke says nothing as he gets up from the bed, grabbing his phone and one of his Kunai's, and walks into his bathroom. He locks the door as he slides down the wall, hiccuping small sobs as he stares as his phone.

  
  
...Might as well leave a last goodbye.

  
  
_J̣̰̘̗͔̖͇u͐͊ͨ͒s̗̦̻̳̆͗ͮͣ̈́ͣṱ̢̼̍̈̑ͩ ̑̂͌ͤ͏͖͙̝̣_  
**ï̩̰̙̒ͤn̥̲̗͑ͦ̓ͬͅ ̘̯̣͒̎́̐̒ͭ**  
_**c̯͙̣̪̬̼ͥ͌ͥ̅͒̀̽a̖̩ͥs͔̘̪̖̜̖̼̉̏ͭ͑ͭe͆͋̔̇̆͏̗̪͔͓̬̰.̘̈ͯ̃ͫ̌͘.́͑͡**_

  
The brunette dials a random number that he remembers from the top of his head. "Yosuke?" Yu says, making the wind users heart stop for a sec. "U..uh, hey partner.." he sniffles, rubbing his eyes.

  
  
"...are you..crying?" Yosuke says nothing, anxiety suddenly filling his body. _He's going to hate you._

**He's going to hate you**

  
_**H͏̣͔̻͝e̳̜͙͜ͅ'̨͙͇̬s̢͓͇̥̞͎͢ ̸͍̮̖͝g̮̣̹̭̭̰͖ǫ̫̬̤̟͉̹̝̩̦i̼̰̗̟͍n͏̸̙̞̻̜̱̤̬g̵̝̖͕̤͠ ̵͏͈̺̞̱̳͙͙̮t̷̲̜͉̘o̤̩̖͖ ̶̧̭̙͔̘̕n̵͇̝͈̟͙̱̻̮o̮̰̯̺̩̜̱͖t̡͇̮͖̰̣̖͘ ̞̭̹͞c̖͢a͉͎̞̩̬̗̫r̷̬̹̠̖̳͖̰̮͢͠e̵̦̰̤-̵̡̺̱̺̟̱̮̘͝** _

  
  
Yosuke takes a deep and shaky breath. "..I'm sorry partner.." he says, playing with his Kunai. "Sorry? Sorry for wha-"

  
  
_**"I can't take this pain anymore.."**_

  
Before Yu can respond, Yosuke hangs up the call and tosses it to the other side of the bathroom, ignoring the content ringing of the phone as he places the weapon on his thigh, starting to cut the skin.

  
  
He hisses at the pain at first. He hasn't done this since Saki's..Yosuke shakes his head, staring at the blood rushing out of the cut. The brunette smiles softly, cutting deeper and deeper until he sure he has cut at least one muscle was cut because of it. He sighs in painful bliss, moving onto the next thigh.

_'Not Enough..'_ His mind keeps screaming at him as he cuts deeper.

**Notenoughnotenoughnotenough-**

  
_Not.._

_**E̫̬̣̟̻͖͉͍͇**_  
_**n̪̗**_  
_**̵͚̣̳͍̩̬̼͖̻. ̖̣̯̝͔̹͎O̶̢̮͝**_  
_**̧̛̯̘̠͘ ̧̰̜ư̪̕͝**_  
_**̝̪͞ ̷͎̪̕ ͏̱̻̪̕ ̵͚͚ ̵͕̞͈̣͉G̛͍̝̫͉̰**_  
_**̶̠̗͉ ̨̪̘͚̞͍h̴̪͙͎̙͔̺͝.̨̥̼͍͓͖̩.̩̦͎̲̩**_

  
He stares at his arm, before laughing softly. "Maybe.." the brunnet places his Kunai on his left arm. "Maybe this will be enough.."

Starting with his the upper part of his arm, Yosuke starts to cut down until cuts cover his whole arm. The brunette purrs at the pain, leaning his head back on the wall, letting the tears fall down his face while he moves on and repeats the process on his right arm.

  
  
He barely hears the house door open, and several footsteps heading towards the door before passing out on the bathroom floor.

* * *

  
Yu panics when his boyfriend hangs up on him. "W-what the hell does he mean by.." he shakes his head, and tries to contact him over and over again for 5 minutes.

  
  
The silver hair boy slams his phone on the bed, frustrated. Why the hell isn't he picking up his phone?? He combs a hand though his hair, before picking it up again and calling Chie. Maybe..maybe she can help him.

  
  
"Hello?"

  
"Chie.."

  
  
"Oh, hey Yu!"

  
  
Yu takes a shaky breath, closing his eyes. "Have..have you hears from Yosuke?"

  
  
"Um..not since yesterday, why?"

  
  
"He.." he hesitates, gulping down his fear. "He..called me, and said..said.." he closes his eyes. The usally calm leader starts to shake, afraid of the worst. "He said he can't take the pain anymore.."

  
  
"..what?"

  
  
"H-he said-"

  
  
"Yu. We need to go to his house. **NOW.** "

  
  
The leader blinks, confusion and fear filling his face. "B..but why-"

  
  
"Yu, why do you think he always hesitates to show you this thighs? Even wearing a swimsuit or shorts, he always pulls then down?"

  
  
"What do you-"

  
  
Yu freezes in place, his breath caught in his throat. "..h..he-"

  
  
"Yu. Don't worry about getting the others, I will do that." Chie says softly, but her breath clearly shaken. "Run as fast as you can to his house. We don't have **time.** "

  
  
And with that, Chie hangs up. Yu quickly runs out the door, telling Nanako he has to go somewhere. He runs. Runs faster than he ever ran while he was in the T.V. He just needs to _r u n_.

  
  
When Yu reaches Yosuke's house, he sees the rest of the gang running next to Chie. "We heard everything from Chie." Naoto says, looking down at the ground. Yu wipes the tears that are threatening to fall, knocking on the door.

  
  
Teddie opens the door, tilting his head. "Oh! Yosuke didn't tell me we where-"

  
  
**"Teddie, move."**

  
  
Teddie blinks, but moves away from the door. Yu runs in, glancing around. "Where is Yosuke's room?" Yukiko asks softly, her hands shaking. "It's..up the stairs, why?"

  
  
Yu doesn't waste anytime. He runs towards Yosuke's bedroom and tries to open the bathroom door. "Yosuke?" He says softly.

  
  
_No response._

  
  
Yu starts to panic, trying to open the door. "Yosuke!!" Chie and the others apper behind him, panic in their eyes. Especially Teddie, his eyes are filled with guilt.

  
  
"Yosuke, if you don't open this door I'll.." the humanized bear stops, closing his eyes as he begins to cry. Rise hugs him, whimpering. "It'll..be ok.."

  
  
Chie growls, kicking the door and forcing it to be open. When the door slams into the wall, they all freeze at the sight of their friend.

  
  
There Yosuke lies, his thighs and arms all cut up and bleeding tremendously. Yu thinks quick, grabbing a towel off the wall and wrapping it around his partners wrist. "K-kanji, can you get the first-aid kit from the cabinet?" He shakily asks, closing eyes to hide the tears.

  
  
Kanji nods, a tear falling down his face as he goes though the cabinet. Yu holds Yosuke tight, finally letting out a heart wrenching sob. "D..don't worry partner.."

  
  
_**"You'll be fine.."**_

* * *

  
  
Yosuke opens his eyes weakly, the pain in his upper arms and thighs making him cry out softly. He glances around the room, his pupils going small at what he sees.

  
  
Chie is holding a crying Yukiko, while trying not to cry herself, Teddie is crying in his hands while Rise his hugging him, also crying, Kanji and Naoto has their backs turned, but are clearly trying their hardest not to cry, and...Yu, his dearest partner, is cleaning up the deep cuts on his arms and thighs and wrapping them up in bandages while holding him closely, his eyes red from crying.

  
  
Yosuke whimpers softly, burring his head into Yu's chest as he remembers what happened, starting to sob into his chest. All he is able to mutter is _I'm sorry._

  
_I_  
_m_  
  
_S_  
_o_  
_r_  
_r_  
_y_

  
_**I̩͖̠̜̺̭͓̿̂̐ͤͪ̏͢**_  
_**mͯ͛҉͍̮̗̞͈ͅ**_

  
_**S̛̹͔͂**_  
_**ǒ̭̭̪̺̤̗̌ͬ̍͐̊ͅ**_  
_**r͈̱̖̲̤͐̊̇ͬ͝ͅͅ**_  
_**r̡͓͍͊̔**_  
_**y̨̘̙̰͋̅̊ͬ̂**_

  
  
Yu looks down at Yosuke when he finishes the bandages. He smiles a sad smile, placing the first-aid kit to the side and holding Yosuke close, kissing his head. "Hey.."

  
  
The brunette looks up at him, the tears not stopping. "I..I.." Yu shakes his head, placing his head on Yosukes.

  
  
_"...Why?"_

  
  
Yosuke looks at the voice, wincing at the sad expression Teddie has. "..why did you try to.." the blonde bear stops, covering his as he sobs softly.

  
  
"...I didn't..." he looks down at his bandaged wrist, closing his eyes and letting more tears fall.

  
  
_**"I didn't felt like..I was needed.."**_

  
  
The rest of the Investigation Team stare at him, a lost for words. Yosuke laughs softly, burring his head back into his boyfriends chest. "You guys..are better than me in every way..Chie is strong, Yukiko is carefree, Kanji is strong, Naoto and Rise know what they are doing with their lifes, Teddie is funny..." he pauses for a moment, gripping Yu's shirt tightly. "And Yu is everything I wanna be..."

  
  
The brunette closes his eyes, his breath stopping. "G..god.." he laughs laughs shamefully. "I still have..no idea why you guys are friends with me, especially when I'm like.." he looks at the bandages.

  
  
**"Like this.."**

  
  
Yu runs a hand though Yosukes hair, sighing softly. "Babe.." he whispers, making Yosuke look at him. "We love you because you are _you_. No one else is like you, no one else has the personality that you do.."

  
  
The grey eye boy places a hand on Yosuke's cheek. "You will get though this..we will help you, with anything." Yosuke stares at his partner, before crying on his chest again.

  
Yu looks at the others. "Yosuke." Naoto says softly. "We need to get you to a hospital. Those cuts are.." she stops, looking at the brunettes now red bandages. "Those cuts are deep-"

  
  
"T-they'll just take me away!!" Yosuke interrupts her with panic, the shakiness in his voice returning. "I-I don't have money to pay for hospital bills!! T-they will place me in a mental asylum!!" His breathing starts to increase.

  
  
"Yo-."

  
  
"P-please, I don't want to go there!!"

  
  
"Yosu-"

  
  
"T-they will do horrible stuff to me!! P-please I don't-"

  
  
_**"Yosuke!!"**_

  
  
The brunette stops, looking at the Idol, his eyes full of panic. She sighs softly, getting on Yosukes level and brushing the tears away from his face. "I'll pay for the bills, and you don't have to worry about them putting you in a asylum.." she whispers calmly.

  
  
"The worst they will do is put you on suicide watch.." Rise looks away. "And..I belive it can be any of us looking after you.." she looks up at Yu for a quick second. "I know you want one person though.." she shakes her head. "So..will you go to the hospital? For us? For _Yu?"_

  
  
The brunette blinks, looking up at Yu. "Whatever you want." He says softly.

  
  
"...you promise it will be ok?" He asks in a timid voice, cringing at the tone of his voice. _'You shouldn't be so timid you mistak-'_

  
  
"I promise it will be ok.." Rise promises, sticking out her pinky finger. Yosuke smiles shyly, interlocking their pinkies.

  
  
Rise gets up, wincing at Yosuke's legs. "We should..have Yu carry you to the car.." she mummbles. "Y..you b-brought..a-a car?"

"Well, I can just call my-"

  
  
"It's not that far of a walk." Yu smiles softly, picking up his boyfriend bridal style, making his partner yelp in confusion and cling onto him. "I'll be fine carrying him."

* * *

  
  
Yosuke stares at the I.V. bag that hes connected to, sighing softly. He looks over at Yu, smiling softly as the other sleeps. He glances around, before grabbing his hand and putting it near his cheek for comfort.

  
  
Yu opens one of his eyes and looks at the other. Smiling softly, he closes his eyes again. "..hey Yosuke?" The brunette jumps at his voice. "O-oh uh, y-yea?" He asks, looking at Yu.

  
  
"...can you promise me somthing?"

  
"Uh..sure?"

  
  
"...whenever you feel like..that..can you tell me next time?"

  
  
The brunette blinks, rubbing the back of his head. "M-man, I thought you where gonna say 'Oh can you stop hurting yourself'-"

  
  
"I know you can't help it sometimes.." Yu whispers, brushing the hand that Yosuke is holding against his cheek. "I know that sometimes, it can be rough, and you feel like you have to feel pain.." Yu smiles softly. "But..try and tell me? When you feel like that, I wanna make you feel loved, make you forget all that, make you feel like the perfect partner you are. 

  
  
Yosuke smiles softly, laying down on Yu's hand. "..I'll try." The brunette says softly. "I'll try my hardest.." Yu smiles, putting his head back down.

  
  
"Goodnight patner."

  
  
"...Night partner."


	2. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey  
> So uh  
> I wanted a cute ending to this  
> So  
> Yea

Yosuke pushes his sleeves down, desperately trying to hide the bandages he has to wear. He can over hear some people talking behind him.

  
  
_"Is that Hanamura?"_

  
  
"Did you hear? Hanamura-kun apparently tries to kill himself!"

  
  
**"Really? That's rather selfish of him. He has to remember all the people-"**

  
  
Yosuke dosnt even bother listening anymore, just pulling his hood up and leaning against his boyfriend. _'They'll stop talking soon..'_ he reminds himself, closing his eyes.

  
  
Yu growls under his breath, wanting to punch the guys and tell them to stop right then and there. _They_ don't know what Yosuke has been though, so why the hell are they talking like they _knew_ him?? The leader shakes his head, hurrying his partner to walk faster to avoid the rest of the people.

  
  
Yosuke looks around the classroom, before putting his hood back on and putting his head down, sighing softly. Surprisingly, King Moron isn't picking on him today. In fact..none of the other teachers have called him at all today...Did they know about what happened a few weeks ago? He doesn't know. Nor does he _want_ to know.

  
Yosuke brings his head up, seeing the back of his partner's shirt. He tugs at the back of his shirt, making Yu turn around and tilt his head.

  
  
"Can we.." The brunette bites his lip, hesitant to say anything. "C-can we hang out after school and..cuddle..?" He whispers shyly, a blush creeping up on his face. Yu rolls his eyes and nods. "Of course we can, you silly goose." He whispers softly, petting Yosuke's head. The brown hair boy doesn't even fight it, just leaning into Yu's hand as he pats his head.

* * *

  
  
"So, what movie do you want to watch?" Yu asks softly, combing a hand though Yosuke's hair. "..The Lion King." He mutters softly, leaning into Yu's touch again. _God_ he's weak to head scratches..

  
  
Yu chuckles softly and nods, getting up to put the movie on. He lays down on the bed, opening his arms up for Yosuke to cuddle in. The brunette takes no time leaping into the arms he feels safe in, burring the back of his head into Yu's chest until the movies starts.

* * *

  
  
After the movie, Yu looks down at his sleeping boyfriend, smiling at the happy free expression he has on his face. The silver hair boy pulls him closer, closing his own eyes.

  
  
"I love you, _**my dear partner.."**_


End file.
